What I am about to reveal is how to recognize subversive and insidious half-truths, untruths, and destiny disruptors that keep us stuck. They result in frustration and hopelessness, and they fool you into settling for the status quo when you could be striving toward the goal. So, if you’re staring down a dead end on that long, winding road to destiny, do a quick inventory to see where these things might be fueling a destiny-busting mindset.
Fear is the root of all excuses and lack of goal momentum. It stops us from recognizing or taking advantage of opportunities. It keeps us questioning our own abilities. It is subversive and covert, so you have to be intentional in uprooting it. Do any of these excuses sound familiar?
- · I’m too old to change.
- · Nobody is going to hire me.
- · I’m too over weight for this.
- · I don’t have time for that.
- · I have no skills in that.
- · I’m broke.
- · I’m too tired.
- · I can’t [fill in the blank].
These excuses are fear-driven. Fear of failure; fear of change; and fear of success are all masquerading as excuses parading across life’s stage. Behind every excuse is a mindset fueled by the fear. These fears are rooted in negative messages. We are fooled into believing what they tell us about ourselves. Sometimes these voices echo go back to childhood. Until the root of this destiny disruptor is destroyed, that tree will keep sprouting leaves. Take back your power by using these fail proof fear-busters.
Fear Buster #1: Flip the Script
Every time you notice yourself falling for any reason not to move forward on any level, take back your power. This is totally up to you. You get to choose. Force yourself to do something different than in the past. It’s a pretty safe bet that this will get you closer to the end game. If you want something different – do something different. Flip the script on that negative mindset. Focus on the outcome and recognize that fear is what it is: False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s a rouse. Keep it moving.
Fear Buster #2: Re-calibrate
A miss calibrated compass will never take you to your intended destination. If your current situation does not reflect where you want to be or what you want to do, it may be time to recalibrate your internal mindsets. Set your GPS and follow the prompts.
- Goals – Where do you want to be this time next year? What would you rather be doing with respect to life, relationships or career? Write it down. Put it where you will see it every day.
- Purpose – It is not enough to choose a destination. What keeps you on target is WHY you want that change. Clarify and prioritize your core values (what is important to you) and align your intended goals with these values. For example, if you want a career change but family is a highly rated core value, you would not take a job out of state or country. You would look for a career opportunity that will allow ample time with family. When reaching a goal gets challenging, it is your core values and purpose that keep your motivated.
- Strategy – This is where destiny busters can take you off track. Know where the challenges are and make a proactive game plan to address them when they arise. Understand that desire or motivation, themselves, are not the magic behind goal achievement. Each New Year many are high on motivation and desire. Yet, by mid-year its back to the former status quo. A realistic view of inevitable challenges and a game plan to take down those destiny interrupters is what makes the difference between “in tow” or “make it so” where goal achievement is concerned.
Set your GPS. Once calibrated, it gets you to your destination no matter how many wrong turns you make . . . if you follow the prompts.
Fear Buster #3: Understand
Self-awareness goes a long way toward effecting sustainable life changes. Fake-it-‘til-You-Make-It gains momentum when you take the time to observe recurring patterns in your life; and do what is necessary to gain a deeper understand of why they exist. By gaining this understanding about yourself, a truer and more powerful self emerges and you become a “beast” when it comes to goal achievement!
Fear Buster #4: Investigate
When you identify destiny-blocking life patterns, don’t deny yourself the opportunity to get professional help to address them. Deeply rooted patterns might require a professional therapist to walk you through the shadows. You might even consider hiring a coach to act as cheerleader and accountability partner. Just remember that these issues are not likely to disappear by a team of one. Garner the forces to achieve a mastermind alliance. A strong support system is like having a well-trained army behind you. Your dreams matter. Life is no easy win. You need team destiny behind you.
Fear Buster #5: Trust the Process
This is the part that separates boys from men and girls from women. Change, by its very nature, is a disruptor. As you become familiar with your true self, old relationships might fall by the wayside because you are now a different person. Once you start down purpose road, dead weight has to go. So, be prepared for it. Trust the process and stay the course. If you do, you will find that passing off the old makes room for the new.
Linda F. Williams, MSW CCLC CPLC is a FOX News Contributor, behaviorist, Certified Personal and Professional Life Coach, author, and motivational speaker. As founder of Whose Apple Dynamic Coaching Services, she is creator of The Whose Apple Dynamic™ GPS Road Map to Destiny™. Linda is author of Whose Apple is it, Anyway: Empowering Purpose to Achieve Your God-Ordained Destiny; and Too True to Tell (Why What We Don’t Say is Leading Us Down the Path of Stolen Vision); and Triple Threat: Definitive Battle Plan for Ministry Leaders.
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